http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/en-EUhttp://backend.userland.com/rss092http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/3b/4848b5a97a8a183567210dd8b9c770_160x200.jpg <p>11050</p> <p>it's a long slow windy road </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2008/10/09/update-word-count-4843472/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2008/10/09/update-word-count-4843472/Thu, 09 Oct 2008 08:32:36 +0200 <p>since there has been some more or less dramatic change to my life (illness to keep it short), which is forcing me to stay at home for the next few months in order to deal with, i do have an exorbitant amount of time on my hands (dealing with it doesn't take up all that much of my day, even though i am trying very hard). so i thought, yet again, to best use this time doing something i have been meaning to do for ages - writing. not just a blog or notes or somesuch, but to actually make some real progress with that novel of mine that has been patiently waiting on my laptop. Every now and then i give it a quick glance, shake off the dust and remind me of what i have generated so far. And, like a good friend, it sits there, waiting, hoping for some tender loving care, whenever the urge strikes me. </p> <p>well, i have decided to be a decidedly better friend to that dear friend of mine. the aim is completion. by christmas. no. really. </p> <p>today's word count: 10482</p> <p>wish me luck </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2008/10/07/word-count-4832427/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2008/10/07/word-count-4832427/Tue, 07 Oct 2008 08:37:05 +0200 <p>well well well... </p> <p>there used to be a time when i was rather motivated to update this blog on a continuous basis, but somehow it seems i failed. my last entry was ages ago and i am not even inclined to look for an excuse. these things just happen. the sudden urge to maybe make another attempt at this arose after reading another friend's blog, which she maintains very regularly to keep us updated of her wonderful new life. admittedly, she has a lot more happening in her life at the moment than i do and possibly more interesting things to talk about (hello karin in lovely paris...)</p> <p>but yes, maybe this is a good time to spread my thoughts into the ether again. we'll see. </p> <p>so long<br> for now</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2008/10/05/it-s-been-a-while-4822653/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2008/10/05/it-s-been-a-while-4822653/Sun, 05 Oct 2008 08:52:12 +0200 <p>today (just now in fact) i got a bit of a lesson in how history works. </p> <p>It's selective</p> <p>by those who write it down. they select what they think is important. they select who they think is important. some time ago when few people could read and write they could just make it up. Certainly word of mouth survives a certain amount of time, but soon that turns into rumour, gossip and myth. Nowadays you'd think with high literacy levels people at least have a method to check things and argue. But then there is this fabulous new medium called the internet. It stores information. Some true, some not so true. Anybody can now basically write about anything. Which is a good thing as it supports democracy. But then...there is also a lot of rubbish out there. I wonder whether at some point it will become impossible to distinguish between what's true and what's not quite so true (nevermind selection as much as outright lying). are people just gonna believe what they deem to be true or what is most suitable? but then again...most people do that anyway. makes you wonder though how much of history actually happened the way we think it did and how much is 'interpreted'.</p> <p>why am i writing about this...today i got deselected... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/05/13/history~2259689/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/05/13/history~2259689/Sun, 13 May 2007 00:12:14 +0200 <p>it's really weird isn't it. Every monday morning people wish it was already friday again. We often say that we just wish this day would be over now. Constantly people wanting time to move along quicker, usually because they have to endure some tedious task, an unpleasant situation or maybe even something exciting to look forward to and can't wait for it to happen. </p> <p>I do that all the time, but actually I don't really want the time to pass. I feel like I'm running out of time. Before I came to England I had all these big plans, that by the time I'm 25 I had my career all set up, probably pocketed an oscar or two and would generally have just about accomplished the most impossible things (as you do). Well, now i am nearly 26 and, funnily enough, somehow reality looks a little bit different. Not that i mind, my life's not all bad, despite what my continuous whinging leaves to believe.</p> <p>But I just wonder...there wouldn't have been any time to do all these things, or would there? I dont know. Maybe I've just procrastinated for too long and sort of ignored the fact that eventually i might actually be getting too old for things (however scary that may sound). But I really am still thinking along the lines of 'when i grow up i wanna be a...', yet again comforting myself in total oblivion that I actually have already reached that stage. I guess. oh, pants. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/05/07/time_flying_by~2223543/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/05/07/time_flying_by~2223543/Mon, 07 May 2007 01:46:27 +0200 <p>today i shall be ranting about cowards.</p> <p>coward no 1<br> i recently did a gig in a school and it was a total disaster. the lady was not very precise in her instructions in the first place and actually gave me wrong information about what she wanted me to do. Anyway, I arrived there and it was shit. She wasn't being very helpful and I just wished for the day to end as quickly as possible and ideally disappear from my mind altogether. </p> <p>She gave me a heque on the day. I banked it the next day. Now this was about a week ago. Today I get a letter telling me that the school had stopped the payment. Now there are a few things to be said about this. Firstly: they hired me they have to pay. Secondly: if they decided for any reason that they didn't like what I was doing, fair enough, but tell me so and don't let me bank the frigging cheque, which then gets taken out of my account again, which means that my account was temporarily in debt (which I have to pay for) and hope the whole thing will just go away. Not even a letter, phone call. Just stopped the payment. I travelled for ages to get to that gig, slept in the car and they do not even have the decency of a letter. I am totally shocked and not really sure how to react to the whole thing. I've written another letter, telling them about this and hoping the whole thing is just an unfortunate mistake (yeah, likely!!). I hate dealing with things like this. </p> <p>Coward No 2<br> He is in a relationship and constantly goes off with other girls. Se doesn't seem to have a clue about it (or at least knows nothing definite), but EVERYONE else knows. Now,, if that would be me I'd like to know please that my partner is shagging around and give him a damn good hiding. But nobody is telling her, because we all feel a bit akward about the whole thing. I really think she ought to know, but just telling her would be useless, cos he would just deny and she'd believe him etc. blabla. I really don't know what to do with this. I don't know her that well and have no idea how she'd react. But the whole situation is just horrible.</p> <p>Why are people so horrible to each other on purpose??? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/05/05/cowards~2215750/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/05/05/cowards~2215750/Sat, 05 May 2007 16:59:38 +0200 <p>well hello there,</p> <p>guess what.</p> <p>i have moved.</p> <p>again</p> <p>this time i am planning to stay for at least 12 months</p> <p>but i had similar plans for the other houses too</p> <p>we'll see</p> <p>argh </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/04/29/and_again~2182149/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/04/29/and_again~2182149/Sun, 29 Apr 2007 21:35:52 +0200 <p>i think i just made an 'enemy'. living across the street. I came home after an interesting night at the theatre, road is blocked by a cab, i wait (what else can you do) eventually the cab moves, i find a parking space right opposite my house. car behind me, so i indicate, slow down, stop, ready to do some first class reverse parking. only that the car behind tries to squeeze in the gap. so i stop the parking, get out of the car, trying to find out what he is doing, wanting to ask him to reverse a little, cos i cant get into the space now (hoping that maybe he didnt really understand my intentions). i know i should have just moved on, living with the fact that he is an ignorant bastard, but i had a really shitty day and this outright rudeness for once should not go unnoticed. </p> <p>so, i get to his car, he opens the door a bit and shouts out that this is his space and that i should move on and closes the door again. i wait, and wait. that's just not good enough. so he opens the door again and i say that i think that he is really rude taking my space. at that point he gets out of the car, starts shouting at me to piss off, this is his space, he lives there (i live opposite) and i should shit off. so i tell him that now i think he is really rude, which just results in further insults from his side. by this time a cyclist had stopped, watching the whole thing. the guy in the car actually came threateningly close at points and i was getting afraid that he was gonna hit me, so i was very glad for the cyclists presence. </p> <p>eventually i get back into my car. his daughter comes out, asking what all the trouble was about (thinking that i was in the wrong for pinching 'his'space). so i park somewhere else. by the time i get back to the place of our little incident, he was still trying to park in and complaining to his daughter (while further insulting me). to which i only reply...'see how i think he is being rude'. daughter is getting a little embarrassed by all this and tries to usher him into the house (still shouting).</p> <p>i know i should have stayed in the car, it's really not worth it, but i never expected to get such a reaction. i swear he was close to punshing me over a bloody parking space. It is just common courtesy to give whoever wanted to park in that space first the possibility of doing so and not just blocking the way without any further explanation. all i wanted was a good reason for him to park there instead of me and i would have even accedpted something banal as having loads of shopping, but he just blocked the way and instantly started shouting at me. even though (in my humble opinion) he was in the wrong.</p> <p>i just don't get people anymore. maybe i'm being naive here, but this sort of behaviour is surely not acceptable. i know i shouldnt let this bother me, but it does. why is that people constantly get shuffed around because others feel like they have to exert some power. it sucks. and i'm gonna go to bed really angry now, which i know is a waste of energy, but i cant help it. </p> <p>oh, and a note on the interesting night on the theatre...it was a circus thing. very nice acts, too much glitter and some random (rather ridiculous and rather bad) dancers. During one of their hopsy routines i laughed so much i actually started crying. i dont think they were meant to be funny, but i certainly enjoyed myself. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/04/04/common_courtesy~2035094/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/04/04/common_courtesy~2035094/Wed, 04 Apr 2007 22:52:32 +0200 <p>taking the risk of repeating myself...another rant about people.</p> <p>today, at work (where else) i served someone and for some reason unknown to human kind the till decided to make part of the order disappear. we noticed that only half the order had been completed, only to find out that the guy had actually never paid for his food (cos the till made it disappear). so i go explaining that to him, telling him how much his food was and hinting very strongly that he actually owes some money. so this **** decides that this must be his lucky day and has the cheeck to say 'well i think we'll call it quits, cos we've been waiting for our food forever'. Bang. he didn't even blush. He just blatantly refused to pay. Two seconds later the food arrived. They had waited a whole 18 minutes. surely that is not a ridiculous amount to wait for a stack of barbequed ribs in a busy restaurant.</p> <p>maybe i'm being naive here, but if you are about to consume something you'll pay for it, no? i know he's the customer and all, but that is just taking the biscuit. it's like those people that keep stumm when a cashier is giving them too much change and just walk off with it. </p> <p>oh, and another thing that just really made my day. since the bloody olympics are going to be 4 times as expensive as planned originally (how? honestly) some of the missing funds is going to come out of the arts budget. great. so, i'm currently training to be an actress, which is already a difficuly way of scraping a living and now they are cutting the funding? i think i want to change my career and work in construction. wtf.</p> <p>/rant over </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/03/24/is_that_really_necessary~1967819/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/03/24/is_that_really_necessary~1967819/Sat, 24 Mar 2007 19:10:21 +0100 <p>there is probably nothing special about wednesday mornings for most people. it's finally mid-week, another day at wrok, uni, college, school and it is as difficult as ever to get out of bed. </p> <p>not so for me. for the first time ince chistmas i dont have to get up. i dont have to be anywhere. i actually have a day off. i still cant believe it.</p> <p>it all started yesterday after work. i didnt do anything apart from watching dvds and playing online mahjong. until i had to go to bed. great. by the time i finally crawled under the covers it was raining heavily outside, but i could still hear the birds singing. it was wonderful, so peaceful. like lying in a tent in the middle of summer with the rain drip dropping onto the roof. and i could just lie there, no need to go to sleep, no need to force myself to get some rest in order to get at least 5 hours of sleep so that i could function the next day. just lying there.</p> <p>today i got up at lunch time. it's great. slowly waking up, determined by my body's needs and tehn letting the world in gradually. i miss those days. now it's nearly over and i yet have to go through my long list of to dos for today, important things i really should have done weeks ago, but maybe i'll leave it for tomorrow. </p> <p>next time i can experience a day of leisure...easter monday </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/02/21/wednesday_morning~1780064/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/02/21/wednesday_morning~1780064/Wed, 21 Feb 2007 16:15:44 +0100 <p>yesterday i was at work (as usual). i finished at 11pm, wanting to go to the total free (paid-for by the company) staff party. i tried to get in contact with one of my collegues, but she didnt answer. i didnt really fancy just going along on the off-chance that it was still going and i actually knew anyone. on my home i bumped into one of my tutors. and she invited me to come along for a few drinks with her mates. </p> <p>i know, bit weird, going for drinks in a friday night going out sort of way with your teacher. but i did anyway. on the way to the bar i found 20 quid on the street. 20 quid, how cool is that. just lying there. first i wasnt really sure whether it was real, but it looked alright. so, i used it there and then to buy a couple of drinks. </p> <p>i wish this could happen to me every time i go out. finding some money and looking really generous by inviting other people for drinks with the found money. wheehee.</p> <p>didnt go to the staff party though, my collegue never replied (probably cos she was far too pissed having consumed the majority of stocks in the bar -paid for by the company...!)</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/01/28/oooh_what_do_we_have_here~1635018/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/01/28/oooh_what_do_we_have_here~1635018/Sun, 28 Jan 2007 00:08:27 +0100 <p>yeah, no idea why i posted this twice...it's extremely important i guess. bloody technology </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/01/25/oops~1623057/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/01/25/oops~1623057/Thu, 25 Jan 2007 23:22:51 +0100 <p>I know, i know. it might be a bit on the late side for new year's wishes, considering the easter eggs are already on the shelves, but it's my first post this year...so there you go.</p> <p>it's been quite some time since i last posted and there are probably many things that i could write about, but i find that a bit tedious. so, just very quickly...i had a really good time back home over christmas, saw all my friends and chilled out for a bit. back in the uk i finally made some considerable changes to my life. from the outside it probably still all looks exactly the same, but my 'frame of mind' has evolved, which is a good thing by the way. </p> <p>i have a ton of new year's resolutions and so far (surprise, surprise) i am sort of sticking to all of them. Apart from the one to write into this blog more often. but it's on the list.</p> <p>so far my 'happy new year' is happy alright and i am planning to keep that up. hopefully everyone else is having a good start as well. after this short update and the confirmation that i am indeed still alive, next entry might be a little bit more about current developments and not a whole lot of bla about how my life is going. we'll see. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/01/25/happy_new_year~1623040/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/01/25/happy_new_year~1623040/Thu, 25 Jan 2007 23:20:16 +0100 <p>I know, i know. it might be a bit on the late side for new year's wishes, considering the easter eggs are already on the shelves, but it's my first post this year...so there you go.</p> <p>it's been quite some time since i last posted and there are probably many things that i could write about, but i find that a bit tedious. so, just very quickly...i had a really good time back home over christmas, saw all my friends and chilled out for a bit. back in the uk i finally made some considerable changes to my life. from the outside it probably still all looks exactly the same, but my 'frame of mind' has evolved, which is a good thing by the way. </p> <p>i have a ton of new year's resolutions and so far (surprise, surprise) i am sort of sticking to all of them. Apart from the one to write into this blog more often. but it's on the list.</p> <p>so far my 'happy new year' is happy alright and i am planning to keep that up. hopefully everyone else is having a good start as well. after this short update and the confirmation that i am indeed still alive, next entry might be a little bit more about current developments and not a whole lot of bla about how my life is going. we'll see. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/01/25/happy_new_year~1623035/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2007/01/25/happy_new_year~1623035/Thu, 25 Jan 2007 23:19:07 +0100 <p>i dont really know where to begin. i know i haven't been very active in my blogging, which is a sad occurence in many of my activities. actually for the past few months i didnt do much fullstop. i survived - went to work, college, ate, slept, paid the bills. that was it. and i moaned a lot, and complained. mainly about stupid people, often about myself. i got very depressed through all this, felt ill for quite some time. my whole self screamed unhappiness, frustration. only i didnt know why. usually if you are feeling this out of your mind there is a reason, but there wasn't an obvious reason. so, i struggled on for many weeks, trying to figure out what's wrong with me, with the world.</p> <p>At some point i realised that continuing to let this crap take over my life will sooner or later have some seriously bad consequences. so i did the only thing i could think of. i made up my mind that everything is actually alright. it's hard to convince yourself of that, especially when you know that nothing really is alright. but a little bit of positive thinking and the sheer will to overcome this negativity finally lead to a breakthrough. </p> <p>it would take too long to explain what was going on and it is probably too complicated to understand, but i think i went through a very intense 'finding myself'-phase. and now have a new or rather refreshed look onto the world and myself. these past few weeks were horrible and i hated myself for being dragged down into a dark hole, but maybe it was necessary. i learned a good few lessons about myself and my attitude towards things and will hopefully remember some of it in the future.</p> <p>sorry if all this doesnt make a lot of sense and you think this is all a whole lot of bollocks. all i really wanted to say is that i am still alive and well and ready to get back into the here and now. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/12/06/through_the_valley_of_darkness~1408301/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/12/06/through_the_valley_of_darkness~1408301/Wed, 06 Dec 2006 15:41:14 +0100 <p>now, everyone knows that the english love tea. they drink it all day, every day. but it's not just a beverage, it's a national institution, a way of life, a means of dealing with problems. no matter what just happened, marriage, child birth, failed exam, argument, separation, broken nail...everything can be fixed with a cup of tea. it's a way of saying 'i care for you', 'i love you'.</p> <p>why am i telling you all this, ah, it is sort of interesting to keep in mind when reading on about my quest.</p> <p>as in all good english households we like to drink tea (well, there's only one english guy really). at the moment we dont have a kettle though, so everytime you fancy a cuppa you have to boil a pot of water, not that difficult, but quite annoying. so i remembered the good old days in my mum's well equipped household and the faint memory of a teapot crossed my mind. so, out goes me to buy a teapot, stupidly thinking that in a land where people have tea running through their veins this would be an easy task. haha! </p> <p>so, where to go? fenwicks...yes they did have teapots. £40 each? no thank you. marks and sparks. the sum total of one tea pot - in the whole store. £30. hm, not really what i'm looking for. at this point i began to wonder. are teapots that much of a luxury item in this country? surely not, i mean, it's a teapot for pity's sake. several shops later, still no luck. </p> <p>friday night, working in the bar, i was still restless about my failed mission. so straight after work i decided to take my last chance of hope and headed for some midnight shopping at tesco's. surely tesco's...they sell EVERYTHING. after getting lost a bit between aisle 8 and 74 i finally stumbled across my 'grail'. i nearly missed it as it was well hidden behind some tracy beaker cups. a teapot. two in fact and one came in two different colours. a weight lifted off my shoulders and all i felt was relief. i found a teapot. blue, not really pretty, but it will do the job. </p> <p> mission accomplished. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/11/20/land_of_the_tea~1349656/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/11/20/land_of_the_tea~1349656/Mon, 20 Nov 2006 14:33:47 +0100 <p>i know i'm a bit lazy writing stuff at the moment, but that is mainly down to being quite tired most of the time. the college project is quite demanding, and also i am ill, which is not a good combination. the project is alright, not really what i had imagined, and i think i will be glad to return to my normal studies and lessons after this has finished (end of the week). it's been a bit odd, very tiring and incredibly annoying at times. well, some of the people have been annoying. especially today i was ready to kill a few of them. but it's over soon. i hope the performances are gonna be ok, so far i ont think i really got anything from the whole project apart from being able to put the name 'rsc' on my cv.</p> <p>house is nearing completion. the last person has now finally moved in and we have housemeals and stuff. quite cool. the living room can actually be used now for that purpose (living that is) as it is clear of random stuff. it's still a slow process, but getting there. </p> <p>next week i am going to start my job, hopefully i am goin gto get some info about that soon, as i havent heard anything yet (turning up where and when etc). </p> <p>booked flights to go home over christmas (hurray)</p> <p>just had a week without chocolate. no idea why, wasn't planned, just sort of didnt feel like it. i really must be ill. </p> <p>anyways. tired now, again, still. whatever. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/11/08/catching_up~1307355/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/11/08/catching_up~1307355/Wed, 08 Nov 2006 00:47:18 +0100 <p>slowly, very slowly my life is getting sorted. i am in my new house (which is still a bit of a building site but nearly finished now) and i have a job. The last one i had in the call centre finished yesterday and i now have a new position in the same company being a supportive admin sort of person for the agents, which means lots of spreadsheets, reports etc. so, should be good fun (i like spreadsheets. i know....sad). this might mean that i can get rid of my bar job as soon as i have paid off my credit card. Also, at the moment we are having a project with the rsc at college. Not sure about that one yet, but it should look good on my cv. And i am still having (making) time to go out and enjoy myself. So, all looking good. Now all i need is love and life should be pretty good.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/11/01/getting_there~1284158/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/11/01/getting_there~1284158/Wed, 01 Nov 2006 12:26:34 +0100 <p>i moved</p> <p>again</p> <p>it's warm</p> <p>and dry</p> <p>full of stuff</p> <p>hopefully it's for a while</p> <p>tired now</p> <p>bed</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/10/19/deja_vu~1240692/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/10/19/deja_vu~1240692/Thu, 19 Oct 2006 23:20:15 +0200 <p>one of my housemates just told me that some scummy kids tried to put some fireworks into my exhaust (failing to set them alight though...not that i mind, but how difficult is it to light a match?) and i wondered why kids would have fireworks at this time of year. fair enough they put the christmas stuff out, but fireworks...i thought they were only allowed to sell them like the day before new year's eve or so. but then i remembered - 5th november - guy fawkes - parliament. </p> <p>now what i never really understood about this things was the attitude towards it. are people condemning guy fawkes with it by blowing the fireworks up instead of parliament or are they actually secretly admiring him, wishing he succeeded and paying tribute to the poor sod? or maybe people are trying to actually still blow up the parliament only that they are not very good at it and shoot fireworks into the air, miles away from the actual place...for several hundred years and now it sort of became a tradition to miss it. very curious. hm, maybe i shouldn't be writing this, cos now i probably have someone screening my emails or following me, cos i might be a danger to the public with these thoughts. i better get a see-through rucksack...just in case.</p> <p>on the homefront. i am moving. next monday. i checked the new house again. it's dry. that is really all i care about at the moment. dry and warm-ish. i am also still overworked. college is surprisingly good. i know that sounds a bit weird, but last year some of the modules were a bit pointless, but this year most of it actually looks to be quite useful. so, fingers crossed. apart from that...i recently started to feel a little bit home sick (i know, bit late after four years), might be because i live in a non-home at the moment. actually it's a little bit like camping. you know when you push all your stuff around so that nothing touches the sides in case the rain leaks through. only that the water in my case is coming from below. and a tent would probably be warmer. coming to think of it, the freezer would probably be warmer. anyway, i miss home. home-home i mean, as in germany. only two months to go and i'll have coffee and baguette in the piano (that's a bistro-cafe-bar, not a real piano). hmmmm. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/10/10/english_customes~1207936/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/10/10/english_customes~1207936/Tue, 10 Oct 2006 22:36:27 +0200 <p>i have just been shopping. no particular reason, just because i wanted to. i did not need anything, so i just bought random stuff, just because i can. of course, i spent too much money, but then, who cares, i am working my bloody arse off for it, so there you go. </p> <p>rummaging through the stores i noticed a few things...</p> <p>shoes for example. i am a size 8 (41). that is a little bit bigger than average, but not basketball player size. i chose 7 different pairs of shoes. one, i repeat, one, was available in my size. all of the other ones were only available up to size 5 or 6. now because the national average size is about a 5 or 6, they obviously order more of those sizes and less of the freaky sizes (like my number 8). understandable. </p> <p>clothes. in any shop it seems impossible one week after the new collection is out to find anything in size 16 (42). the national average is probably about a size 12 (38). again, they probably order more of those sizes, because there are more people who could potentially buy them. but why is it then that i can never find clothes and all that is left in the sales in the end is bloody size 5 shoes, or anything below size 12 clothes. h&m has the speciality of hanging miles and miles of xs-sized clothes in the sales. for years. surely they must realise this at some point ad start ordering more stuff of 'other' sizes so that everyone has the chance of finding some fitting clothes. the whole thing is a mystery to me.</p> <p>so, instead of buying sensible clothes that fit, i bought jewellery, going out dresses (which i am probably never going to wear, cos i don't go out) and handbags. you can never go wrong with that.</p> <p>apart from that, i am still working too much, college is fine (and actually quite good fun at the moment), i am moving in two weeks time, my car has to go to a dreaded MOT and i have finally sent off that bloody tax return. also i am very sorry that i am not very good at communicating and keeping in touch at the moment, but it really is a time issue. i will better myself, i promise. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/10/05/shopping~1191579/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/10/05/shopping~1191579/Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:40:31 +0200 <p>i have just explored the features of this blog in more detail and came across a function to add links. so i did. i just created another sort of blog thing on live journal. i will use this to keep track of my college developments, but it's also a way of preventing endless rants about my course on this blog. so, in case anyone wants to have a look and see how i get on at college and is interested in the sort of things acting students do, here's the link:</p> <p><a href="http://steph-schneider.livejournal.com/">http://steph-schneider.livejournal.com/</a></p> <p>(not much on it yet, cos it's only been my first day back) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/25/new_link_added~1160298/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/25/new_link_added~1160298/Mon, 25 Sep 2006 21:53:09 +0200 <p>yes, indeed, cos i can walk on water. not knowingly and without any doing of myself involved, but i have been walking on water for the past few weeks. where? in my room. a quick look under the floorboards today revealed a lake stretching halfway cross the house. that certainly explains a lot of things, like the green mould on half of my shoes and several other items, the damp feeling on my bed sheets, sofa throw etc and the eternal drying time for my clothes (4 days). it might just be responsible for my cold as well...</p> <p>but in order. last saturday (like a week ago) i started to pack for my well deserved holiday, to discover said mould on my shoes. thinking i could somehow trick reality i fled it right there and then into the realms of frivolity and frenzy (no idea what exactly that means actually, but it sounds good and i am too lazy to consult a dictionary - even though google is just a mouseclick away. as an excuse i could claim frozen fingers though...no, oh well, just laziness then). anyway...so i spend some wonderfully relaxing time in bristol (with some added interesting bits concerning a certain person who has got more issues to sort out than i can even think of in my entire lifetime - for sure to be continued...not sure whether i wanna be around then though. confused? well, i certainly was. it's about a guy, what else). getting back to the point (honestly). the week was fantastic, nothing to do or worry about. reality hit me right on the way back. on the motorway. bristol to birmingham already took me the best part of three hours. the whole journey according to multimap should have taken 4.5 hours. i finally arrived at home after 7 and a bit and, of course, it was raining. then i spend the rest of the weekend working (now there's a surprise) and today was my first day back at college, where we did, exactly, fuck all (you will hear about similar occurences in the future). </p> <p>coming home i discovered that the landlady hadn't done anything about the damp yet (one week), the workmen putting in new doors had left a mess, different workmen will return to paint the doors tomorrow, then the first ones come back to finish the doors. more mess. when i then discovered that i really now finally have to do my tax return, renew my car tax and book the car in for an mot, all by the end of the week, my mood began to sink slightly. and then we discovered the lake. </p> <p>moral of the story...reality sucks. i am going to go away now in my head to some remote island (dampless) and ... oh, hang on, the phone...my boss...could i possibly work tonight...hm, no, cos i gotta pack, to move house again, and then i'm gonna be busy forming my own religion, because i can walk on water.</p> <p>(one day i'm gonna post something really nice and cheerful here, i promise.) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/25/look_just_like_jesus~1160161/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/25/look_just_like_jesus~1160161/Mon, 25 Sep 2006 21:08:22 +0200 <p>it's friday. hurray. it's my last day at work (at least at one of the jobs). three more shifts at the other place and i am facing freedom. at least for a week. a week of doing absolutely nothing. i am probably going away to lie in a field, reading books or something of that kind, depending on the weather. </p> <p>the week after that i am going back to college. i remember as if it was just yesterday saying that i am not sure how i am going to pass the four months of summer holiday. it's gonna be a long time. and there you go. it has flown by, as usual. one week before i am starting my last year in education. where did the time go? i know i have been working a lot, probably too much, but that quick? </p> <p>i noticed though that recently i have spent too much time with quite necessary but rather uninteresting things. i always believed that we live to work as much as we work to live, but now i am more of the opinion that that very much depends on the job. sure, if you have a great job which you love, you are going to be 100% committed (at least i would be) and it is important that everything is done and done well. then there are the jobs that are primarily endured in order to make some mone to live (which i have been doing a lot recently). both options have benefits i guess. but i think i have been doing something wrong, cos even though my jobs belong to the second category i did not have any spare time to enjoy myself, because i was so bloody tired all the time. now, once i am back at college, i think i am going to change that. sure the jobs are going to be the same, but i think i am going to be doing more of the enjoyment stuff, cos i really feel i have missed out for quite some time now. </p> <p>with this and a long list of good intentions for the next semester i think i am going to be pretty busy. so, there's one more reason to have a week of absolute laziness ahead of me. it's gonna be so great. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/15/one_step_closer_to_getting_my_life_back~1129047/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/15/one_step_closer_to_getting_my_life_back~1129047/Fri, 15 Sep 2006 16:55:21 +0200 <p>i just had a really nice tesco-run. after eating crap for about a month i thought i'll treat myself to some proper food. the kind containing vitamins and minerals that is. so, as i was wandering through the aisles, i came across it. the first sense of christmas foreboding. cards, calendars, chocolate...the lot. a warm feeling was expanding inside me, filling me with joy and contentment.</p> <p>it's bloody september!! what are they thinking. oh, hang on, daft question. they are thinking money. it's not enough that you could save for your christmas vouchers since frigging march, no, now you can start sending out useless christmas cards three months in advance. good move by the post office though to increase the price of stamps just before the christmas rush. i have to admit that i am not much of a christmas sort of person. in recent years i arranged myself with it, mainly trying to avoid it...but at least it's a good time to come home, because all my friends will be there, there's good food and lots of chocolate. but all this hype, honestly, what is the point? i mean, i don't think i shall be getting into a festive mood if people start giving me presents for my birthday combined with my christmas presents (my birthday is in july), just because it seems so convenient to put the two together, since they nearly happen at the same time anyway. and this is not something my frustrated brain is making up. it is getting earlier every year. </p> <p>soon i don't think there will be any reason to take any christmas decoration down because, well, it's only gonna be put out again two weeks later. actually that would be quite a welcoming development. if we have christmas all year, it's not gonna be that special anymore (hopefully anyway) and maybe nobody will care. and everybody could just be really nice and make each other presents and have a peaceful and harmonious time together without any reason at all, just because it's actually quite a good thing to do. hm...</p> <p>anyway...do you know those little metal turning things with little spikes on them that produce a sound when they are hit by a metal curtainy sort of thing. i know, not the best or most technical description ever, but i'm sure everyone has seen one of those little music things. they usually sound quite shrill and don't really achieve to capture the full scope of a song. one of the most popular and most terrifying ones is probably 'für elise' (dadadadadadadadadaah dadadaa dadadaa da dadadadadadadadadaah etc...nevermind). now, please imagine this in the sound quality of a first generation ring tone (not the real tones...no no, the really annoying ones that the phone comes with and everybody needs to try out - usually for the entertainment of a whole metro). now imagine about seven different songs (ok, bad versions of songs), put them all in a row, on a loop and make them your default melody for people on hold on your telephone. isn't that just the most wicked way of driving people nuts. i was quite impressed by the sheer badness when i had to listen to it for several minutes today. that is at the absolut top of my list of bad 'please hold the line-music'. yes, i do have such a list. yes, i am bored at work. and yes, i do need to get a life. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/07/thank_god_it_s_christmas~1106494/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/07/thank_god_it_s_christmas~1106494/Thu, 07 Sep 2006 22:20:13 +0200 <p>Angels are singing it from the sky, birds are pronouncing it from the rooftops: it's international arsehole day. a whole day dedicated to making this world a little bit nastier. what can you do to spread the evil? slam the door in somebody's face? hang up the phone on a total stranger? are you generally grumpy, unfriendly, totally unhelpful, unwilling, incompetent and stupid? why not become an official representative for this memorable day full of back biting, face-spitting and ignorance. Join in the celebrations, give a fierce look to the next random person entering your sight or lie to the next convenient person on the phone. please, help making this day a success. come on, you know you want to. </p> <p>guess what!</p> <p>i am having such a GREAT day at work!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/04/international_arsehole_day~1095770/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/09/04/international_arsehole_day~1095770/Mon, 04 Sep 2006 12:09:29 +0200 <p>i know i have recently been complaining quite a bit about my current job. but now it's time to evaluate my other job, the one in the bar. sunday i spent the best part of an hour sorting straws. yes, this is not a joke. someone had the glorious idea to put all the straws the right way up and the wrong way into their containers. now that's a biiiig problem. i know know it sounds ridiculous. but you try serving hundreds of poeple in the automated sort of way that your used to and then suddenly something (something quite easily avoidable) is changed. it throws the whole routine. it's quite amazing actually to see how used we get to certain 'ways of doing things'. so, cos friday and saturday night everybody was really irritated by the whole straw issue i thought it might be a good idea to just take the time and put the damn things back in place. not that i had anything else to do. so, there's me spending quite some time putting things right, i go on my break, come back, and the same idiot filled the containers up again, with the straws...you guessed, the wrong way. i mean, honestly...little things that make life that little bit more annoying.</p> <p>oh, nd there are things that make life quite a lot more annoying. saturday night one member of our staff apparently had a smoke in the staff toilets, which is not allowed, especially not when you are on shift. not that i really care whether anybody is having a fag, but unfortunately that cigarette led to an evacuation of the building, cos the fire alarm went off. obviously nobody volunteered to stand up for it and now there's gonna be some investigation and we are going to loose our staff room. great.</p> <p>and else...the damn thing is still working, my wrist is still blue-purple-ish and my day-job is still boring the life out of me. so, all well. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/08/28/that_s_what_i_go_to_work_for~1076830/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/08/28/that_s_what_i_go_to_work_for~1076830/Mon, 28 Aug 2006 17:07:06 +0200 <p>money in the bank. i like it. my first pay day. and god, did i earn it. not because it's so difficult, no, but because of the boredom.</p> <p>and because i have to listen to people who have so incorporated the job in themselves that they sound like robots and, no matter what question you are asking, only ever answer with the same sentence. may it fit or not.</p> <p>i think i might be adopting the same strategy. a lot less hassle. i always felt pity for people who had to constantly repeat themselves. liek the lady in the elevator telling you which floor you are on and that the doors are about to open. well, eventually i found out that it was a recorded message of course. but somehow the magic was lost. you know when you are a child and everything is a bit mysterious and magical? i thought for a long time that they always had live bands playing on the radio for example and it wasnt quite the same when i found out that it's all just electronic. oh well. the good old days.</p> <p>one note on my wrist. it's rather colourful and only hurts a bit. but it's not a style i'd like to hang on to</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/08/25/pay_day~1068934/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/08/25/pay_day~1068934/Fri, 25 Aug 2006 17:13:12 +0200yes, finally it's here. damn thing no. 2. and it seems to work...so far. so i am currently busy (again) installing and initialising all the items i need. hopefully not wasting my time. fingers crossed that i dont have to live through another ordeal of couriers and 'help desks'. live generally is picking up. this is the second day i actually made it through the evening without falling asleep before bedtime. and i did go out, too - juggling. and i hurt my wrist, s<p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/08/24/the_damn_thing~1066934/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/08/24/the_damn_thing~1066934/Thu, 24 Aug 2006 22:33:44 +0200 <p>i think i am getting old, or dizzy, or both. maybe it's just my level of concentration or the total lack of brain usage in my job, but i keep forgetting things, mislaying them etc. nothing major, but quite annoying. i hope it stops soon.</p> <p>also i am constantly tired, but that might have something to do with getting up at the break of dawn, clearly not my time of day. hmmm.</p> <p>i went to a wedding on saturday. and it was probably the best thing to do in ages. i had a really good time, dancing most of the night (yet again noticing that i might be getting on a bit....half an hour of bopping about never used to be a problem, now i actually have to sit down to catch my breath. total fitness alarm. well, lack of it). didnt find the love of my life though, as predicted by my housemates. what was the percentage again of people that meet their future spouse at a wedding? but i had a good time anyway, totally dressed up in an audrey hepburn sort of style. not that i look anything like audrey hepburn (far from it), but i had the hat, the gloves (which too be fair i wasnt wearing most of the night) and the bling.</p> <p>always interesting to watch people at weddings, their dress sense, dance style, the jokes they tell. hm, well, well.</p> <p>oh, by the way, 'the damn thing' has finally been picked up. first i thought someone stole it, because it wasnt lying on the shelf in the corridor anymore, but the note suggested that the clever people from the well-known courier company just tried their luck to pick it up again without me arranging a date or time (haha, as if that's possible, tut tut tut). impressive. now i only have to wait another 74 days before a new damn thing arrives. </p> <p>right, better be off now to busy myself with yet another tax return, after struggling through one yesterday. they really dont make it very easy to pay taxes in this country. oh well, what an exciting life i have...and what an exciting post this has been, sorry bout that, but my brain is mash.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/08/22/random_days~1060338/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://stephanieschneider.blog.co.uk/2006/08/22/random_days~1060338/Tue, 22 Aug 2006 18:25:07 +0200